Following my previous piece on finding happiness I would now like
to share my thoughts on a subject that is very close to my heart ... who is
responsible for your happiness?
I have always been a great believer in taking responsibility for
yourself. I know for some people this is an extremely scary idea. Fear of doing
the wrong thing and having to deal with consequences stops some people before
they even begin.
For those of you who feel like this, I actually understand, quite
well because I have felt the
same fear. I have found myself in unfamiliar situations and yes it is
scary, but then I stop, take a breath and I think about my choices.
I could let life just happen, I could let the situation or others
take the lead and I could follow or I could take an active role and have a say
in things that affect my life.
When I think about these two scenarios, one thought always comes
to mind;
Do I want to put the responsibility for my happiness in the hands
of others?
Well that could be the easy option, but when I think just a little
more I know in my mind the final outcome I would like for the situation.
However getting to that outcome isn't usually about one single decision.
Usually there are a whole series of decisions that have to be made. Some of
them are of a medium size, a size you can easily recognise and answer.
Then there are those very small decisions, the ones that are more
subconscious than conscious. You might not recognise them straight away, but
when someone else makes one of those small decisions on your behalf, then I
believe you realise you have far more thoughts and feelings on the matter at
hand than you let on.
It isn't that other people make these decisions to intentionally
annoy or upset you. The fact
is they just aren't mind readers. They
are usually just doing what they think is best. And herein is my point... It’s
what THEY think is best!
I don't always get it right, but the decisions I make that affect
my life come from within.
From experience I have found that dealing with those mistakes is
much easier and less painful than dealing with the resentment and frustration that
comes from not taking an active role whenever possible, in things that affect
my life.
For those of you who still feel that fear, you don't have to start
on big decisions. Start taking charge of your happiness in small ways and build
up from that. Before
you know it, your happiness won't be in the hands of fate but at your own
fingertips.
Love,
Cate
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