Now I wonder, as you read this post, other than hopefully having a bit of a laugh will it give you a little more insight into my crazy brain. All comments welcome.
Cate
x
Baby bear collapsed on the couch. His heart was pounding in
his chest and his little legs ached. He never imagined on today of all days he
would be running in fear for his life.
"Keep your head down, bear and don't move one inch,"
Goldilocks whispered fiercely as she slid across the dusty floor to the window,
rifle at the ready.
Baby Bear didn't have the strength to move and so he loped
his head to the side. Resting it on the old couch, out of view of the windows
and their hunters, he closed his eyes.
The day had started so well. The picnic had been planned
with military precision, even Pooh, who was known for living on the messy side
of life had made perfect honey and peanut butter finger sandwiches.
Everything was flowing beautifully, until Pooky and his
rather unusual looking companion had arrived. Goldilocks had been employed to
run security, checking passes at the gate and the usual festival routine. Something
was definitely a little off with Pooky's friend. Sure he looked like a bear, he
walked like a bear but he didn't smell like a bear. He kind of smelt like apple
pie mixed with something savoury, something she couldn't quite put her finger
on. "Please could you put your hands against the wall and spread your
legs, I need to pat you down. Picnic policy you understand," she said putting
on her most serious face. The bear smiled, a big greedy smile but did as she
asked. Reaching his waist Goldilocks noticed a funny bulge just above his
bottom, as her hand traced the outline, it moved, swishing first to the left
then to the right. Leaping back, she raised her gun and yelled at the bear to get
down on the ground.
The bear hit the ground and with that a loud tear appeared
in his seam out of which shot a long orange and black striped tail followed by
the very strong aroma of lasagna.
"Garfield!" Goldilocks yelled ready to give him a
right royal roasting, as she scowled at Pooky, "and you should know
be..."
Then all hell broke loose.
Gun fire sounded to her right, hitting the floor, she quickly
assumed a sniper's position as three little pigs wearing t-shirts with
"all animals are not equal" emblazoned across the front trotted casually into the opening. Waving guns above their heads, the pigs sang in
unison, "Today's the day the Pigs have their picnic."
"Baby … baby are you alright?" Goldilocks
whispered out of the corner of her mouth, her eye pressed tightly to the scope
as she surveyed the army of piglet's marching directly towards them. They'd
lost so many in the woods today already, she couldn't bear to lose him too.
A soft click catches her ear, turning her head slowly her
gaze pause over a motionless bear on a sofa and then continues on, a rather
large pig in a blue jacket now standing in the doorway. A pistol poised in his
left trotter, his eyebrow raises and cocking the gun, he smiles smugly
"That's all folks!"